Around Me

Feels like there is nothing for me here.

All the hard work I have put in is going unnoticed.

I just want to go home.

Forget my dreams, I have lost all hope.

The time I have put in has gone down the hole.

Growing up never felt so sad.

Realizing that not all dreams come true.

Don’t want to be looked on as a quitter.

Nor as someone who enjoys to lose,

but everything around me seems to be untrue.

I think of baseball and I see my life,

but I look around me and I see the cause of all my fights.

I think of people and I see my family and friends,

but I look around me and I see people that cause all the sorrow and pain.

I do not belong here yet I still remain.

Try to do things right yet I am in last place.

Why do I bother?

Why do I continue?

Is there something that I must do in a place that I seem to not exist.

Feel lost and so alone.

The people that comfort me are just a call away yet the presence of a hug is so far away.

My life now is so lonely.

No one to go home too to talk all the troubles away.

I once had a surrounding that was as perfect as can be.

Now I have surrounded myself with uncertainty.

With people that could care less.

A household that seems like a jail cell with no way out.

Nothing for me here is what I imagined it to be.

A baseball future that is nothing what it once seemed to be.

No bed to sleep in and a team that plays worse than little league.

What have I put myself into?

When I once had everything I would ever need.

A roof over my head and something to eat.

A place to sleep in and a car to move along.

Family and friends to hang out with and pass jokes along.

I guess you never know what you have until it is truly gone….